PSYCHOTHERAPY OFF THE WALL, continued
But let’s get back to Felicity* and repeat some of the last volume’s Introduction just to show you how crazy he is. Of course, his initials did help to shape his destiny. It was inevitable he’d become a physicist or an engineer. So, naturally, he became a psychologist. And, naturally again, being destined for a career in the ‘hard’ sciences, he became a psychotherapist.
How that came about is easy to understand. I don’t know about you, but Felicity hated school. But he hated the thought of having to work even more. So, upon completing high school, he found an expedient way to postpone the need for the employment market to find suitable work for him. He registered in university. Then he was faced with another problem. He was chronically confused about who or what he was. So he had no idea which of the available courses of study to pursue. Providentially, to support the indecision of the indecisive, the university had an entry programme in Arts, which served as the first year for a host of disciplines. He enrolled in this entry programme and chose courses with the help of a dart board and a set of dice. One of the courses he carefully selected by these means was Psychology. It was in this course that he found the discipline most suited to his nature.
As he explains it, he had learned everything he cared to know about health in high school, where he was taught an assortment of useful things such as: ‘Flies spread disease; keep yours closed’. He had learned everything he cared to know about crime by hearing that ‘if it wasn’t for pickpockets, some people would have no sex life at all’. And he had learned everything he cared to know about addictions by trying his first cigarette, hating it, and becoming completely addicted to the weed. Now, only in his first year at university, he was taught the rest of what he felt he needed to know — that ‘Psychology is the study of the id by the odd.’ Although he had attended the world’s most advertised school (you know, everywhere you go you see its sign: ‘Slow School’), he was quick enough to see at once the discipline he was destined to follow. It occurred to him in the twinkling of an eye (or a twitch of the nose) that he would someday be doing in his own odd way the funny things with the id that those funny psychologist people do.
* Felicity Alice Constance True 0-I-X
“0” stands for hugs. “X” stands for kisses. “I” won’t stand for any of that sort of stuff. “I” prefer “/” to “__” recline. But enjoy the rest, footnote-and-fancy-free.