Spousal Abuse, continued
Aggressive men behave aggressively. Any use of force by a man during his disagreements with his partner are a BIG warning sign! What starts off in early courtship as a bit of a push or a shove, can turn into fullblown beatings not long down the road. An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout ‘right in your face’. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that serious physical violence is a strong possibility.
Threatening violence, like violence itself, is designed to manipulate and control the partner, to keep her in her place and prevent her making her own decisions. Breaking or striking objects is also threatening and is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on his partner’s part. He may break one of her treasured objects, beat his fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past her.
Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behaviour by saying “everybody talks like that,” maintain he is only kidding or say that this because the relationship or his partner are so important to him. He may tell her that she is “over-sensitive” for being upset by such threats. Threats can also be less overt, such as “If you leave me, I will kill myself”, or “You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn’t live without you”.